Sunday, October 1, 2023
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    Can You Identify What’s “Communism” and What’s an “Average Social Program in the 21st Century?”

    If you’ve spent any time on social media recently, and if you’ve expressed an opinion that indicates you were born in the modern age and acknowledge that fact, you were probably called a “communist,” “commie,” or maybe a “Soyboy Beta Commie Cuck.” Our research indicates that there has not been a spike in membership to any communist parties in the United States, however. So what accounts for this sudden noted spike in communism?

    It would appear, our data shows, that millions of Americans are mistaking average 21st century social programs for communism. In our never-ending endeavors to educate and inform, we decided to put together this handy quiz, to help you more quickly identify what’s communism, and what’s basic social policy in 2021.

    Have fun with this quiz, and let us know how you did!

    Can You Identify What’s “Communism” and What’s an “Average Social Program in the 21st Century?”

    DESCRIPTION: A system in which employees pay into, building an account that upon retirement, they can draw from, eliminating the need for elderly people to depend solely on charity to survive.

    Communism or Basic Social Program?

    Did you think this is communism? Aww, how cute! This is actual Social Security and has been a part of this country’s social infrastructure for the better part of a century, and America is still uses a market-based, capitalist economy.

    DESCRIPTION: A system in which Americans can shop for and obtain affordable health insurance. Lower income families and individuals can get taxpayer subsidized lower premiums.

    Communism or Basic Social Program?

    You might have really wanted this one to be “communism,” but we actually just described how the Obamacare exchanges work. While there are state-run health insurance programs that Americans can use the exchanges to see if they qualify for, the reality is that the overwhelming majority of the revenue generated from the Affordable Care Act goes right to private health insurance companies. Obamacare is not universal healthcare, single payer healthcare, or even socialized medicine outside of the subsidized private health insurance.

    DESCRIPTION: A system, paid for entirely with taxes, in which Americans can drive their cars between states freely, without paying excessive tolls, allowing them to move freely across the entire continent. Commercial and retail goods can be transported via the same system.

    Communism or Basic Social Program?

    If you found yourself disgusted by this one — congratulations! You think the American highway system, proposed by a Republican president, is communism! It’s not, but the good thing is that in this country, you’re allowed to believe anything you want, no matter how fantastically ignorant and delusional!

    So how’d you do on our quiz?

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    Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

    James Schlarmann
    James Schlarmann
    Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.