Coronavirus Update: Area Flasher Desperate for Parks to Open Up Again
NOIX NUES, LOUISIANA — Chad Stripley has really not enjoyed his time under coronavirus ...
5 Signs You’re Oppressed and Not Just Being Asked to Skip Sunbathing So Humanity Survives a Pandemic
As the nation, and indeed the planet, attempts to grapple with how to recover ...
Man’s Dick Denies All Liability For His Actions
VILLAGE DES SaUCISSES, LOUISIANA — Garth Blanston’s dick does not and will not take ...
UPDATE: No YOU’RE Drinking Too Much During the Coronavirus Quarantine, Asshole!
Oh, oh, you think I’ve had too much to drink, do you? You think ...
4 Ways to Tell If You Use the Word “Sheeple” Too Much
There are certain words in the English language that are categorically terrible, stupid, idiotic ...
5 Fun Hospitals For That Perfect Spring Break Getaway
You’re young! You’re hip! You’re down to party, and damn it, it’s SPRING BREAK! ...
Local Man Not Defensive, But Why Are You Even Asking?!
OBTUSE GARDENS, ILLINOIS — No. No. No. No. No. It doesn’t matter how many times ...
CDC Recommends Washing Hands For At Least As Long As It Takes For You To Masturbate
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Centers for Disease Control have issued a fresh new set ...
Update: There Are Still LEGO On The Goddamned Floor
EL PIESANGRIENTO, CALIFORNIA — Sources are confirming at the time of publications that, despite ...
Man Uncomfortable With How Similar His Stepson’s Pornhub Search History Is to His Own
VALLE DE CHINGANDA FAMILIA, ARIZONA — Six years ago, when he got married to ...
