It’s time for CURRENT EVENTS TRIVIA!
As we always do in CURRENT EVENTS TRIVIA, we give you three clues and you see if you can guess who we’re talking about, based on those clues. Then, tomorrow, we’ll publish an update of this column and you can see if you were right!
This week’s mystery person is a one term, twice-permanently impeached, former reality-TV game show host who has paid at least one woman to lie about his extramarital affair with him, and alleged billionaire. Speaking of those billions…
Our mystery person’s eponymous billion dollar company was just indicted by Manhattan District Attorney on finance and tax related charges. While white collar crime is as American as apple pie and racism, it is of particular note because the indicted company was founded by a bloviating idiot who keeps lying about losing last year’s election, and believe it or not, that same fuckwit was in possession of our country’s nuclear launch codes for nearly half a decade, too.
Because white collar crime itself is honestly kind of, like, *yawn* at this point, it’s probably the fact that this particular fake-tanned fuckface — who won’t stop lying about what a loser-ass-bitch he was last year — tried to convince the American people he was a proponent of so-called “law & order” and accused his opponents of being lawless criminals.
Perhaps he was confusing his business with Democrats. Easy to do.
Can you guess who this bloviating moron is?
Recent government data shows he’s the 45th most intelligent former president in American history.
A former Vice-President who calls the woman he penetrates sexually “Mother” (and that is absolutely 100% not weird in any way, shape, or form) is currently working on a book of recipes for tasting and enjoying our mystery person’s taint.
Is the only man in American in American history to lose two consecutive popular vote contests and be impeached twice between them.
Okay! You’ve got the clues! So, who is this obnoxious dick whistle?
|Become a Patron!|
Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.