Terms and Conditions

Terms and Conditions

Acceptable Use

  • Please use either your real name or your social media login
  • Try to Follow Thumper’s Rule (just do the best you can)
  • Don’t stalk people unless you like restraining orders
  • Be well-mannered or we’ll delete your stupid comment and ridicule your upbringing
  • Narcissists go somewhere else, unless you’re self-deprecating and then by all means please stay
  • If you get stuck, try comedy or booze or holding your breath. Please, keep trying.
  • Inane, obscure, and/or irrelevant comments are all OK as long as you follow these rules
  • You really should be over the age of 18 to view this stuff. If not, ask your Mom for permission, especially if you are still living with her.


Notice of Intent

This website is satirical in scope and intent. It provides fake news and social criticism in a satirical setting. If this offends you, you might want to consider doing something else with your time rather than looking at the Internet. Really, the quality of your life will improve dramatically. Our intention is not to fool anyone, but if you do get fooled,  don’t sweat it. Please have fun and lighten up and watch out for Snopes.com. We’re not sure they’ve had all their vaccinations.
Any campaign revenue that generate funds other than from regular advertising will be donated to local charities. Examples would be mock GoFundme fund raising or donation requests for donation for mock causes.
Any persons mentioned in our copy bearing resemblance to persons living or dead is a mere coincidence and probably a creation in your overactive imagination. Remember, the Internet is not about you and your relatively insignificant life, although we understand how you might feel that way. We certainly do. Occasionally, we might use real people and call them out by name, in which case they probably deserve it. And they probably like the attention anyway.
If you somehow find your image being used as the subject of a piece, please contact us and it will be replaced/removed ASAP. Thanks for being understanding.


 Litigation Notice

Please do not sue us. Here’s why. The First Amendment protects parody and satire as a form of free speech and expression. Satirical Facts uses invented names in all of its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Satirical Facts is not intended for readers under 18 years of age or people that don’t have a maturity level of at least 18 years of age.


Information that is gathered from visitors

In common with other websites, log files are stored on our web server saving details such as visitors’ IP addresses, browser types, referring pages and times of visit. Cookies may be used to remember visitor preferences when interacting with this website. Where registration is required, visitors’ email and usernames will be stored on the server.


How the Information is used

The information is used to enhance the visitor’s experience when using the website to display personalized content and possibly advertising. E-mail addresses or social media information will not be sold, rented or leased to 3rd parties. E-mail may be sent to inform you of news of our services or offers by us.


Visitor Options

If you have subscribed to one of our services, you may unsubscribe by following the instructions which are included in e-mail that you receive. You may be able to block cookies via your browser settings but this may prevent you from access to certain features of the website.


Cookies

Cookies are small digital signature files that are stored by your web browser that allow your preferences to be recorded when visiting the website. Also they may be used to track your return visits to the website–3rd party advertising companies may also use cookies for tracking purposes. This is not unique to us, but wanted to let you know because we’re not dicks.


Google and other Ads

Google, as a third party vendor, uses cookies to serve ads. Google’s use of the DART cookie enables it to serve ads to visitors based on their visit to sites they visit on the Internet. Website visitors may opt out of the use of the DART cookie by visiting the Google ad and content network privacy policy. Other ad syndication sites use similar technology. If you don’t like this, please get off the Internet, move off the grid and grow your own food.


DMCA Safe Harbor and Forward Looking Statements

Satirical Facts does its best to not to infringe on copyrighted material. And it has little control on what its users might post. In the event that there is a copyright infringement, Satirical Facts will consider the request, and if necessary, remove the infringed material within 48 hours.
Satirical Facts cannot be responsible for the conduct of participants, either registered or malicious, on this website. In the event that questionable or illegal material is found and reported, by either its user or the site administrators, said administrators will review the content, and if necessary remove it within 48 hours.
All complaints or inquiries or mindless rants must be sent via email.