Coronavirus Update: Area Flasher Desperate for Parks to Open Up Again

NOIX NUES, LOUISIANA — Chad Stripley has really not enjoyed his time under coronavirus ...

Taco Bell Unveils New “Nacho Cheese Chalu-IPA” Craft Beer

IRVINE, CALIFORNIA — Alleged food purveyor Taco Bell will be the latest California-based company ...

White Claw Reveals Its 7 Least Popular Flavors

Adult beverage maker White Claw has become quite popular over the last year or ...

4 Ways to Tell If You Use the Word “Sheeple” Too Much

There are certain words in the English language that are categorically terrible, stupid, idiotic ...

Town Passes Law Allowing You to Shit on TP Hoarders’ Lawns

LAKE PELOUSE DE MERDE, WISCONSIN — On a 3-2 vote, the local city council ...

Local Man Not Defensive, But Why Are You Even Asking?!

OBTUSE GARDENS, ILLINOIS — No. No. No. No. No. It doesn’t matter how many times ...

Local Gym Owner Confident His COVID-19 Email Just Made All the Difference

SPAMM MOUNTAIN, WASHINGTON — As he closed down his laptop for the day yesterday, ...

Update: There Are Still LEGO On The Goddamned Floor

EL PIESANGRIENTO, CALIFORNIA — Sources are confirming at the time of publications that, despite ...

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