Sunday, November 28, 2021

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Are Humans Capable of Chanting “Let’s Go Brandon!” Without Having a Lobotomy?

In certain parts of the Bible Belt and throughout Red America, chants of “Let’s Go Brandon!” are breaking out at sporting events, church gatherings, klan rallies, and klan rally church gatherings.

It’s a sort of cry against the current presidential administration. Too afraid to swear publicly for fear of being judged a profane potty-mouth, supporters of one term, twice forever impeached President Don J. Trump have begun to use the chant as a not-so-subtle replacement for a more coarse alternative, “Fuck Joe Biden.”

MAGA HAT OR SUPER GLUE? THE BEST WAY TO SEAL UP A VAGINA.

As the chants have grown in volume, though, one thing has become clear — people who have had, or at least behave as as if they have had, a lobotomy are the ones doing the chanting.

Which begs the question: Are humans capable of chanting “Let’s Go Brandon” without having a lobotomy? As always, we contacted the best medical experts we could find, and when they turned us down, we found these lesser-known medical experts to weigh-in.

Dr. Carol Karolsby

“I have been a neurologist for over thirty years. I honestly can’t say whether a lobotomy is a prerequisite for chanting ‘Let’s Go Brandon,’ but I can say for a fact it’s a requirement for being able to vote MAGA. So do with that what you will.”

Dr. Jim Phartstinki

“As a doctor and scientist, I simply must wait for more data to make a definitive conclusion. However, my gut tells me you may need two lobotomies to chant ‘Let’s Go Brandon.’ That’s how fucking stupid that chant is.”

Dr. Chip Sahoy

“Obviously, this is such a new phenomenon it would be unwise and unethical for me to comment too much on it. However, as a human being, and not as a doctor, I can say without a doubt that only a brainless shit-wit would do that chant when they can just, you know, say ‘Fuck Joe Biden’ since there’s a First Amendment and all.”

Dr. Sharon McScoodoo

“Fuck Don Trump. See how easy that is? I can’t be certain that one has to have had a lobotomy to chant ‘Let’s Go Brandon,’ but I do know how good it feels to say ‘Fuck Don Trump.’ It feels so good I’m going to say it one more time. Fuck Don Trump.”

OH MY GOD, I JUST SHIT MY PANTS AND NOW THEY THINK BIDEN STOLE THE ELECTION!

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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