Are you looking to cash-in on the opportunities that are afforded to people who are willing to creepily violate fellow airplane passengers’ personal space and interactions? Do you want to video record and even live-tweet their personal lives as you observe them? But, are you completely unsure of how to do it?

No worries, everyone! Satirical Facts has once again got you covered where other media outlets would leave you hanging!

8 Hot Tips For Secretly Video Recording Two People Hooking Up On An Airplane

#1. Pretend Like You Live Streaming Their Lives Is Just As/More Important Than Living Them

Look we all know that Internet fame may be fickle, but we also all know it is literally the most important thing, like, ever. So pick up that phone and start recording those canoodling passengers! You’ve got followers to pick up!

#2. Keep Updating Your Followers About Literally Every Single Tiny Thing They Say or Do

Did one of the people you’re casually e-stalking burp? Did one of them brush up against the other’s arm in a totally “who cares?” way? Don’t sit on those details, man! SHARE THEM WITH THE ENTIRE WORLD!

#3. Check Your Lighting and Sound Levels BEFORE You Live Stream

Technology moves at the speed of progress these days, but no one has time for your electronic interloping if we can’t see or hear what’s going on. So make sure to do a couple of test runs with your equipment, to make sure everyone will get the most of your decision to blast someone’s personal shit all over the web.

#4. Charge Your Battery!

Ugh, nothing will kill a fun little traipse into someone else’s personal lives like your live stream of it dying half way through! Make sure to charge your battery before you get on the plane. And if you have to, bring one of those portable chargers with you too. Don’t let the battery die.

#5. Make Up Fun Nicknames For Them!

Look, we all know you’re too much a pussy to actually introduce yourself, get their names, and then tell them what you’re doing. And why would you? They might call out your nakedly creepy shit. That’s why it’s important to give them fun nicknames like Workout Guy or Super Hot Millennial Chick.

#6. Have Fun With It!

Just have fun with it, guys!

James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPostAlternative Science, Alternative Facts, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals

  • Show Comments


You May Also Like

4 Ways to Tell If You Use the Word “Sheeple” Too Much

There are certain words in the English language that are categorically terrible, stupid, idiotic ...

Asshole Itching to Give All His Asshole Opinions

THE SHITE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — From within his gated community, sitting in the living ...

Obama: “Holy Sh*t Michelle! How Did I Miss All Those Guns?!”

SECRET SHARIA BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN KENYA — Yesterday, Lord Blacky McVoldemort Hussein Obama turned ...

Man Arrested for Public Defecation After Memorial Day Salute to the Confederacy

FORT BENEDICT, KENTUCKY  — A man was arrested earlier this morning after someone alerted ...

5 Fun Hospitals For That Perfect Spring Break Getaway

You’re young! You’re hip! You’re down to party, and damn it, it’s SPRING BREAK! ...