Sunday, October 1, 2023
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    Dyslexic Teenager Can’t Stop Laughing When You say “96”

    FORT MUTUELLEORALE, OKLAHOMA — This past school year, Johnny Katzakas was asked to leave his high school algebra class because he couldn’t stop snickering. Sources close the situation say it started from the beginning of the class period, when the course’s instructor, Susan Cherylson, asked the class to open their books to begin the lesson.

    “Alright class, we’re going to start really digging in on polynomial equations this week. So let’s start off by turning right to page 96 in your books,” Ms. Cherylson began.

    That’s when Johnny’s giggle fit started. Cherylson says she tried, at first, to ignore it. Giggling high schoolers is nothing new to the 15 year education veteran.

    “This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve taught classes when a student’s had a case of the giggles before,” Cherylson said, “but this didn’t stop. When I reiterated the page number in case someone couldn’t hear it over Mr. Katzakas’ tittering, which I realize now in hindsight I should not have used as the word to describe his laughing because it only made him laugh harder, he really lost it.”

    That’s when Ms. Cherylson decided that, for the good of the class, Johnny would need to excuse himself for as long as it took to get control of his laughing fit. As he was leaving the room, she once more told her students which page to turn to, and hearing “96” once again sent Johnny into a dizzying spate of guffaws.

    “Eventually, once Johnny was out of the room, I was able to get back down to the business of teaching my students,” Cherylson said.

    When Johnny’s mother Susan found out about the incident, she knew right away what the problem had been.

    “Johnny was diagnosed with dyslexia over the summer,” Susan told us via Skype. “And it just slipped my mind to tell his teachers. It really explains a lot of his academic challenges, especially in math. Obviously I’m also going to have to talk with Johnny about appropriate school hour humor topics.”

    We contacted an expert in dyslexia.

    “That’s, um, not really how it works, but I see what you’re doing there,” Jacob Reversio told us. “I’m getting to old to care all that much about dumb jokes about dyslexia works doesn’t krow.”

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    Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because they have a definition of hate speech that includes “calling Ann Coulter the C-word.”

    James Schlarmann
    James Schlarmann
    Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.