Local News
White House Drama: Eric Tells Ivanka ‘You Might Sleep With Dad, But You’re Not My Mom!’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Word out of the president’s residence is that tempers are flaring ...
Alabama Teenager Rushed to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Baby In Her Eye
COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA — Doctors and attending staff in the urgent care ...
Alabama Democrat Proposes Mandatory Vasectomies Until Marriage
RÉCIPROQUE BAY, ALABAMA — A Democrat in the State of Alabama has drafted new ...
Georgia Woman Turns Herself Into Authorities After Miscarrying
PARADIS CHAUVIN COUNTY, GEORGIA — Authorities are confirming at the time of publication that ...
AG Barr: “The President Can Murder Ten People If He’s Feeling Stressed Out Enough”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though the Mueller Report is still, at the time of publication, ...
Retailers Report Sharp Decline in Post-Halloween Democrat Disguise Sales
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — The National Retailers Consortium, one of the country’s oldest ...
WTF? This Guy Just Told His Girl He Appreciated Her And They Weren’t Even Going To Fuck!
PORT AUBURN, WISCONSIN — Local authorities are still trying to piece together exactly what ...
Hipster Will Only Do Challenge With Non-GMO Tide Pods
24 year old Chad Braddington drinks only cold brew coffee. Chad only grocery shops where he ...
Man Doesn’t Deny He Dealt It, But Callously Refuses To Smellt It
RUSTY WIND FALLS, MINNESOTA — Everyone in the room knew he did it, Bob ...
Woman Tends To Cuss A Lot When You Act Like A Goddamned Fucking Shitheaded Cock-Faced Twat Waffle
Megan Hofer, 35 years old and from Santa Chingada, California, admits that she has ...
