December 13, 2019 December 13, 2019 TIME Tells Trump He’ll Be Their “Obnoxious, Petty, Self-Aggrandizing Little Bi**ch of the Year” in 2020 by James Schlarmann
October 14, 2019 October 14, 2019 President Devastated Peter Falk Couldn’t Attend White House Columbo Day Celebration by James Schlarmann
September 19, 2019 September 19, 2019 Spicer Already Booked For Next Season of “Dancing With the Lying Kleptocratic Fascist Lawless Dick Burgers” by James Schlarmann
September 18, 2019 September 18, 2019 Shane Gillis Apologizes to All The Good Asians He Does Like. Both Of Them. by James Schlarmann
August 31, 2019 August 31, 2019 Tucker Carlson’s Dry Cleaner Won’t Return White Sheets Without Claim Ticket by James Schlarmann
July 28, 2019 July 28, 2019 “The Jerk” To Be Remade As “The A-Hole,” Starring Donald Trump by James Schlarmann
July 16, 2019 July 16, 2019 Laura Ingraham Blasts Disney for Not Recasting Aladdin’s Genie White by James Schlarmann
July 11, 2019 August 25, 2019 Tomi Lahren Hard at Work on List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse by James Schlarmann
July 11, 2019 July 11, 2019 Fox News’ Lahren: “Mermaids Are White, Just Like Santa and Jesus!” by James Schlarmann
July 5, 2019 July 5, 2019 Fortnite Promises New Patch Won’t Take Away Game’s Key Feature of Turning Your Tween Into an Angry Maniac by James Schlarmann
