James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

President Promises TrumpCare Will ‘Absolutely Cover Non-Existing Conditions’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump appears to be already jockeying for position in ...

Jesus: “It’s Cute When Christians Think Bernie’s Too Socialist”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — This morning during a heavenly press conference, Jesus Hubert ...

Man’s Dick Suing Him For Power of Attorney

VALLE CHORIZO, CALIFORNIA — A landmark case is working itself through the California court ...

Jesus Christ Announces He’s Returned to Try Another Sandwich

BUFFALO, NEW YORK —  The Bible foretells that when the End Times are upon ...

Tennessee Democrats Considering a 48-Hour Waiting Period for Erections

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE — In 2015, conservatives in Deep Red Tennesee seriously considered making the ...