James Schlarmann 
Taco Bell Unveils New “Nacho Cheese Chalu-IPA” Craft Beer
IRVINE, CALIFORNIA — Alleged food purveyor Taco Bell will be the latest California-based company ...
White Claw Reveals Its 7 Least Popular Flavors
Adult beverage maker White Claw has become quite popular over the last year or ...
4 Ways to Tell If You Use the Word “Sheeple” Too Much
There are certain words in the English language that are categorically terrible, stupid, idiotic ...
Coronavirus Quarantine Hand Washing Has Man Starting to Enjoy the Feel of Sandpaper on His Junk
CHAFED WOOD, SOUTH DAKOTA — Local stock trader Jay Hodges told friends in a ...
Man Wishes His Imaginary Friends Would Just Get Along With His Made-Up Wife
ILLUSORY FIELDS, KENTUCKY — A local man has “had it up to here” and ...
Town Passes Law Allowing You to Shit on TP Hoarders’ Lawns
LAKE PELOUSE DE MERDE, WISCONSIN — On a 3-2 vote, the local city council ...
5 Fun Hospitals For That Perfect Spring Break Getaway
You’re young! You’re hip! You’re down to party, and damn it, it’s SPRING BREAK! ...
Local Man Not Defensive, But Why Are You Even Asking?!
OBTUSE GARDENS, ILLINOIS — No. No. No. No. No. It doesn’t matter how many times ...
Local Gym Owner Confident His COVID-19 Email Just Made All the Difference
SPAMM MOUNTAIN, WASHINGTON — As he closed down his laptop for the day yesterday, ...
Houston Astros in Talks to Sign Tom Brady
HOUSTON, TEXASS — Major League Baseball’s Houston Astros have reportedly reached out to the ...
