We asked you to send us your favorite marijuana edibles recipes, because that’s how hot and trendy weed is right now. Out of the dozen or so entries we got, these are the five we thought reached three key criteria the best:

  1. Food: We learned our lesson from 2017 and we did not accept entries that were for homemade guns, glassware, or ghost catching hardware.
  2. Ease of reproduction: Could our readers reproduce these recipes easily at home?
  3. Get Us Fucked Up: Would this recipe get us high AF?

And now, here are:

5 Great Marijuana Edibles Recipes

#1. Pot Dogs

1. Grill hot dog*.
2. Open hot dog bun, dress with condiments and weed.
3. Insert hot dog.
4. Eat hot dog.
5. Smoke /vape additional weed to taste
*Vegan Option: Not this

#2. Philly Weed-Steak Sandwich

1. Pre-smoke a joint or “marijuana cigar,” or “herbal jazz cigarette.”
2. Get some bread, skirt steak, and cheese sauce (preferably melted).
3. Make a Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich.
4. Smoke another joint.
5. Put weed on sandwich.
6. Smoke one more joint.
7. Eat.

#3. PotCorn

1. Buy a large bucket of popcorn.
2. Dump out popcorn.
3. Pour in weed nuggets.
4. Take out weed nuggets and either smoke or vape them.

#4. Petite Filet Mignon

1. Do a Jay
2. Cook a steak (preferably filet mignon)
3. Eat.

#5. No Bake Pot Brownies

1. Buy your favorite pre-packaged brownies.
2. Pack a fat bowl.
3. Smoke fat bowl.
4. Eat brownie
5. Watch “30 Rock” on Hulu.
6. Masturbate to moderately hardcore amateur porn.
7. Die at the end of your meaningless life.

 

Buy this shirt and help us feed these kids that won’t keep bothering us about eating.

James‘ satire is also found on:
Alternative Facts
Alternative Science,
The Political Garbage Chute
The Pastiche Post
Satirical Facts

 

 

Tags:

  • Show Comments

Ads

You May Also Like

El Presidente Trump’s Guide to Mexican Cuisine

Whether you’re a guest in one of his luxurious summer concentration camps, or a ...

Trump Appoints David Avocado Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though his cabinet has been fully confirmed, President Donald Trump isn’t ...

5 Restaurants You Simply Must Get Food Poisoning From

Not to sound too controversial, but food is pretty important to the human experience. ...

Former Papa John’s CEO Did 40 Days’ Worth of Coke in 30

GRAS RACISTE EN SUEUR RIVER VALLEY, KENTUCKY — John Schnatter, founder and ousted CEO ...

Taco Bell Unveils New “Nacho Cheese Chalu-IPA” Craft Beer

IRVINE, CALIFORNIA — Alleged food purveyor Taco Bell will be the latest California-based company ...