Monday, June 5, 2023
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    5 Easy Marijuana Edibles Recipes

    We asked you to send us your favorite marijuana edibles recipes, because that’s how hot and trendy weed is right now. Out of the dozen or so entries we got, these are the five we thought reached three key criteria the best:

    1. Food: We learned our lesson from 2017 and we did not accept entries that were for homemade guns, glassware, or ghost catching hardware.
    2. Ease of reproduction: Could our readers reproduce these recipes easily at home?
    3. Get Us Fucked Up: Would this recipe get us high AF?

    And now, here are:

    5 Great Marijuana Edibles Recipes

    #1. Pot Dogs

    1. Grill hot dog*.
    2. Open hot dog bun, dress with condiments and weed.
    3. Insert hot dog.
    4. Eat hot dog.
    5. Smoke /vape additional weed to taste
    *Vegan Option: Not this

    #2. Philly Weed-Steak Sandwich

    1. Pre-smoke a joint or “marijuana cigar,” or “herbal jazz cigarette.”
    2. Get some bread, skirt steak, and cheese sauce (preferably melted).
    3. Make a Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich.
    4. Smoke another joint.
    5. Put weed on sandwich.
    6. Smoke one more joint.
    7. Eat.

    #3. PotCorn

    1. Buy a large bucket of popcorn.
    2. Dump out popcorn.
    3. Pour in weed nuggets.
    4. Take out weed nuggets and either smoke or vape them.

    #4. Petite Filet Mignon

    1. Do a Jay
    2. Cook a steak (preferably filet mignon)
    3. Eat.

    #5. No Bake Pot Brownies

    1. Buy your favorite pre-packaged brownies.
    2. Pack a fat bowl.
    3. Smoke fat bowl.
    4. Eat brownie
    5. Watch “30 Rock” on Hulu.
    6. Masturbate to moderately hardcore amateur porn.
    7. Die at the end of your meaningless life.


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    James Schlarmann
    James Schlarmann
    Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.